My 5-Year Old Won’t Listen!
Bless my little 5-year old master teacher. He just won’t listen to us. I think he’s beginning on the “You’re-Not-The-Boss-Of-Me” journey.
Lord help us all!
I wrote about this before when my other one was in this phase. Please click here afterwards and read it if your child is between 5 – 7 years old. It explains a lot. Share this with other parents in this phase. It can be so reassuring to know there is method to the madness.
This time of life for a child is a deep exploration of power and self. If you’ve been reading my posts lately that sentence will probably make you laugh! I’ve been dancing with those subjects intensely but I’ve only just realised the connection to my child. Of course. Hard to see what’s in front of your face, right?
I quote from my post: “So what happens during this very important transition is that the child loses her external source of guidance about herself and life and she has to find and learn about the new source of guidance which lives deep within her.”
So it’s another level of delving into the murky waters of who am I, who do I listen to, who is actually in charge here, how much power do I have to say no…
Applied equally to me and my child.
He is very much exploring his own power. He wandered off the other day, in clear contravention of Rule No 1. to being in public places: “Always stay where you can see us and we can see you.” He went so far away we had no idea where he was. We all went in different directions to search and my legs are still stiff from sprinting half a kilometre while calling his name. I managed to keep panic from rising in me and I finally found him quietly waiting for us to catch up with him! Unfazed.
Anyhoo, our family is starting to feel the pain of not being heard. We say something to him, like “Stop banging the knife and cutting marks into the table!” and he, either glances at us and then simply continues what he was doing, or he actually puts his hands over his ears and says, “Stop talking!”
I have to admit there are some moments where violent urges stir in me as a primitive way of dealing with this little whippersnapper! But no, breathe deeply, get a hold of myself, find my centre…
NOW! Quick, before I lose it at him!
When your child questions and challenges your authority you have to be reaaally ok with yourself to simply stay calm and deal with where he is at.
Well there it is. The gift. I have to be ok with myself.
I mean, why would I in any way feel challenged or thrown off my centre by a 5 year old? What is WRONG with me?! (I’m only kidding, anyone who’s met a 5 year old will understand)
So the task is to practice knowing, really deeply knowing, that I am fine as I am. And he is fine as he is. He is exploring his new inner sense of self – just as I am – and it’s not always smooth or easy to figure out how to listen to yourself when everyone around you has their own opinion about who you are and what you should do. And you love them and you want to please them but it feels wrong somehow to do it their way but you’re so confused and if only they would just STOP TALKING you could maybe figure it out…
I’m going to try to join him and support his journey with consciousness of my own journey. I will watch him to see how it’s done when one is learning to listen to the source of truth deep within instead of the external influences of others. Because of course, I want to learn how to do that too.
Ok honey. I’m watching and learning!
And as always, thank you for guiding me to my own truth and power.