How To Find Your New Balance In Every Situation
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Just when you think you’ve got the hang of something, it all changes again. Have you noticed that?
I don’t know about you, but I find myself thinking, “Oh when this thing is over, THEN I will feel balanced again”.
It’s really not about that though, is it? It’s not about waiting for what’s happening now to change so that you can be ok. It’s about finding your new balance in how things are right now – every time. Over and over…
But it’s unsettling.
It’s so much more comfortable to feel in control of things, don’t you find?
I remember one friend told me a long time ago that after her first child was born she felt out of balance for quite a long time but she managed to ‘find herself’ again. “But I’ve never really got my balance back after my second was born” she said wistfully.
She has found her balance again though – it’s just really different to how she used to think balance looked. In my opinion, it’s bigger and shinier than it was before.
Life – with our children, family, work, and money as its little helpers – seems to knock us off balance or tilt our axis every once in a while. Ok, ok, every time we find our comfortable balance actually. Yes, you cynics out there, maybe it is all just a cruel joke – the ancient Greek gods randomly testing us mortals, playing with us like pawns in their own power games…
Then again, maybe, like Hercules or Odysseus or Oedipus, part of what we are doing on earth as humans is adventuring along our own individual hero’s journey in order to save our kingdom or find our true home again. Well that’s what makes me feel better to think anyways.
Just like the classic dudes, each one of us heroes has to have our world upended, face injustice and head out of our comfort zones to face all sorts of demons, two headed monsters and seductive sirens in order to find our true inner strengths.
Doesn’t that paragraph above just describe parenting beautifully?
Why do you think we love all those ‘Die Hard’-type action movies and ‘Lord of The Ring’-type adventure stories? We’ve loved those kinds of stories since we were Ancient Greeks. It’s because they reflect our own inner journey and it’s a relief to see some other sucker doing it too.
We relate to the struggles of the hero because he or she is us. I think that’s why Mariah Carey’s song ‘Hero’ became so popular?
“And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
And when it seems like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see it’s true
That the hero lies in you”
The task each hero in the stories faces is; to distinguish the truth from the lies (you are stronger than you think), the inner knowledge from what people outside try to tell you (you actually are enough, you are worthy), to find the courage to follow yourself rather than what is expected or ‘acceptable’.
When Life tilts you off-balance again, the way to find your new balance in every situation is to check in with your inner hero – because that part of you knows which way True North is FOR YOU. Your Inner Hero is the compass you are equipped with for your own Hero’s Journey.
In any tricky situation, ask yourself, “What is my truth here?” and you cannot get really lost again. Whether you follow what you hear in response to your question… well that’s a whole other story. I’ll write about that one day.
As I see it, our task – for ourselves, our children and the world – is to find and live our True North.
Facing towards or away from our True North is the vital ingredient to how we respond to our children, our boss, money, life…
How’s that going for you?