Before we start – if you haven’t yet – please click on the red button over on the right and vote for this blog. Let’s spread the word that parenting can actually be FOR THE PARENT. Voting closes end of Dec and you only need to vote once. Let’s be loud and proud!
Ok here we go…
Someone and I bumped up against each other recently in an uncomfortable way for both of us. It was uncomfortable because we bumped into our shadow selves in each other. Knowing that helps me welcome the experience with an open heart and great appreciation for this someone’s presence in my life.
Let me explain;
While we are growing up we learn what behaviour works best in what situation. Now, our childish interpretation of ‘works best’ is not always so kosher because, quite frankly, we only have half a brain at the time. (Ok I don’t actually know how much of a brain we have working at any given moment we are growing up but our brain is mostly fully developed only when we are around 21 years old so there are things we just don’t have the brain capacity to grasp when we are little).
So we might see, “Hmmm, throwing a tantrum works best because it gets me what I’m asking for.” Or we might see, “Yikes! I won’t try scream and shout like that again. They rejected me and closed me in a room on my own.” One child learns expressed anger is good and the other learns expressed anger is bad.
Based on these kinds of experiences in our family and school we learn how to be in the world. Then we are grown and we head out into the wider world certain that we know how to be. And then we trip up because, again frankly, most of our families have their own unique weirdness and what worked with them doesn’t always work with others. This is one of the reasons we go a little crazy in our early twenties. We are facing our patterns for the first time.
So why am I writing this and how is it related to being pissed off? Well we are mostly all born with aRead More